For crying out loud!

She's gone and got more rats! Not girl rats (I wouldn't mind that), boy rats! She came back with them last week, little runts they are, and get this, they have curly hair! HA! Pablo is, like, so jealous, he's always wanted a perm.
So anyway now I have two little pipsqueaks sharing my food, my hammocks and my treat dispenser (mum). On the other hand, I also have two new punchbags.
Mum has again surpassed herself on the stupid names front, black pipsqueak is now Bernard and brown pipsqueak is Manny. Does she want them to be bullied?

This is Bernard .Look at his curly whiskers *snort*















And this is Manny. He is pathetic.















They're already taking liberties. That was my bloody corn *sigh*

All I want for Christmas

Today I wrote my letter to Santa and mum sent it off for me. This is what I did write -

Dear Santa

I have been a very good boy this year as I'm sure you know, I eat all my veggies and am nice to my brother. All I want for Christmas is -

• A new bachelor pad, complete with designer hammocks
  
• A harem of beautiful does, and a boyfriend for Pablo, just to keep him out of my way
  
• 15kg of yoggies
• A pony

That is all. Merry Christmas.

from Elmer

If I get it all then I'll know he's real.

Mum has been playing Christmas songs all afternoon, and singing along. Badly. Somebody should tell her rats have very sensitive hearing. My ears hurt.

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

My friend Ruby went away this morning and when she came back she wasn't there anymore. Her body was there
but Ruby was gone. I knew something was wrong because mum was crying. I think she was ready to go, but I'll miss her

A discovery

What I learned today:

If you hold in a fart, it turns into a poo.

Another productive afternoon.

Ho hum

I am so bored. I feel like I've done nothing but eat and sleep for ages, which is ok but after a while you fancy a bit of excitement. And that doesn't include mum waving a feather stick around and squealing excitedly. She pretends that it's for our benefit but I know she gets more out of it than I do. I'm a bloody rat, not one of her stupid felines! Sometimes I humour her and chase the thing. Poor woman doesn't get out much. Mostly because she spends all her money on us